I am content with who I am, With each new day, I become a better woman, I am grateful for what I have, I strive for greatness, not to be better than.
My journey is mine, it’s unique and true, I will not compare myself to you, I am focused on my own goals, My blessings are abundant, my soul glows.
So I walk my path, head held high, Grateful for my life, no need to vie, With anyone else, I am enough, My own blessings are plenty, that’s no bluff.
Ingredients:
Instructions:
In exotic lands, I love to roam, Exploring new places, And cultures unknown.
Dark and tall, Vulnerable and strong, The men I encounter, I find to be so long.
Deep extracurriculars, That tease and delight, Handsome black men, With whom I indulge in the night.
Each one unique, Each one a treasure, I’ll continue to explore, At my own leisure.
Love is a treasure, pure and true
A feeling that I’ve always knew
To share with someone, heart to heart
And never stray, to cheat or part
But love can be a fragile thing
And sometimes, it comes with a sting
My lover was a liar, you see
And the lies, they broke and confused me
They made me ill and full of doubt
But still, I couldn’t shake love out
For even in the darkest hour
I knew I couldn’t let it cower
So I’ll love love, with all my might
Though past experiences have been quite a fight
For true love is built on trust and honesty
And I’ll keep searching for that, with dignity
Love is pure, and love is strong
But lies, they do not belong
I’ll take my time, and choose with care
For a love that’s pure, is truly rare.
Dear younger me,
As you read this letter, know that you are strong and capable. Life may seem uncertain and daunting at times, but you will come out on the other side, stronger and more resilient.
I know you’re going through a tough time right now, dealing with insecurities and self-doubt. But remember that you are worthy and deserving of happiness. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Believe in yourself and your abilities, and know that you are capable of achieving great things.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. They are a part of life and are necessary for growth. Learn from them, and don’t let them define you.
Cherish the moments you have with the people you love. They will be the ones who will support you through the tough times, and the ones who will be by your side when you succeed.
Never stop dreaming and reaching for your goals. You have the power to shape your future and make your dreams a reality. Believe in yourself and keep pushing forward.
You are going to go through a lot of changes, but know that you are not alone. You will find your passion, your voice and your place in this world. You will make mistakes, but you will learn from them. You will find love, lose love, and find it again. You will discover new things about yourself and your surroundings. And most importantly, you will learn how to love and respect yourself.
With all my love, Your older self.
No? How am I supposed to take it?
The point is, I LIKE to take things personally, I think it creates an interesting challenge ā even closeness ā and makes for lively, honest conversations that even lead to something, like discoveries about each other! I also not only like to take things personally, I like people to take ME and the things I do and say personally, because Iām a person who tries to be as personal as possible. Why? Because it gives me a soft, warm, emotional and personal feeling. It glosses over my insecurities and makes me feel like being āseenā, recognized, something we all crave, no matter how silly that is.
Of course, there are things I definitely donāt take personally or really donāt care about one way or another. Like when a dog would try to bite me, or if the bus driver doesnāt smile, or when a homeless lets down his pants on the subway and starts swinging it around ā a daily sight in NYC.
Nope, not taking any of that personally. As for the rest… š
One of my favorite books of all time is āThe Four Agreementsā by don Miguel Ruiz. I first saw Mr. Ruiz on the OWN network and I was so inspired by his words that I read this book. One thing about the book that really got me wasnāt just the fact that I could relate to everything I read, but I was also taken by the explanations of why we humans think the way we do. I was particularly fascinated by the second agreement, āDonāt Take Anything Personallyā because it revealed to me that people interact with others from their own perspectives and they judge based on what is within their own minds and what they were taught to believe.
A personās opinion of you is solely based on the way they think, it is not about you. The trouble comes when you take what they say to be an accurate representation of you and allow their perception to damage the way you see yourself. An opinion is solely a product of oneās mind and it is formed from their oneās own experiences, beliefs, and even prejudices. Each person has a unique mind, so why are we offended when a person shares their unique perspective in a manner we interpret as harsh and rude? We are offended because we have not strengthened our sense of self and forget to focus on acceptance within because we are so busy looking for subjective validation from sources that are biased and fallible.
It’s become the silent emotional killer among women. Women who are downright mean, malicious and disrespectful with each other. This trend is creating havoc in our relationships with each other, for it strikes the core of sisterhood. Real sisterhood can only exist when respect and trust stand unshakeable. In this particular, most men are quite opposite to us. For a man, a brother is a brother is a brother.
However, what is most disturbing about our malicious ways is that we are passing on a legacy of a broken sisterhood to our daughters. Girls that are mean and catty are usually this way because their understanding is that this is a normal part of femaleness.
They grow up to become mean and catty women who perpetuate a diseased sisterhood. To break this cycle we each need to make a conscious effort to validate all women. Be they our friends or not. Otherwise, we will continue to find ourselves moving within circles of female hostility, suspicion, and pain.
Here is my list of the most detestable practices that we need to discontinue in order to heal our sisterhood:
1. Talking about each other
You are really not her friend if what you have to say about her is so bad you can’t say it in front of her. If you are a real friend you should be able to tell her your concerns for her life to her face. If you have the need to tell others, but you haven’t found the time to tell her ā red lights should be flashing. Believe it or not, gossiping is not an intrinsic part of being female. Women who gossip do it not because it’s a woman-thing, but because they want to elevate themselves and put other women in a place of inferiority. Gossiping is just another symptom of deeper insecurities.
2. Fighting for men
One of the most undignified things that any woman can do is to fight, argue, or curse another woman over a man. It’s a disgusting trend that used to be a school girl thing, but today adult women are doing it too. If both of you are in conflict – because his choice is not clear – then that means that he’s really not into any of you. He’s probably playing both of you. That man really does not deserve love or attention from either one of you. Let him go.
3. Joining female gangs
Women who make you feel unwelcome and unwanted within their circle of friends are not to be trusted. Women cliques have become common in the workplace, at church, in the neighborhood. Cliques are the dwelling place of insecure women. Women who join cliques are seeking refuge from their own lack of confidence by cocooning themselves within this circle of supposed exclusivity. Again, the need to belong to, or be part of a clique is also a sign of deeper insecurities. Beware, cliques are usually encouraged and thrive on a type of gang mentality.
4. Undermining each other
Beware of any woman who can never celebrate your accomplishments with you. It could be a new boyfriend, a promotion, an award, a new job, a new acquisition, weight loss. If she has nothing positive to say to you about it, does not show emotional support, or chooses to remain silent she is not a true friend. Real friends know how to recognize and genuinely rejoice for our successes with pride.
5. Competing against each other
You need to get this straight. There will always be another woman with nicer hair, a more caring husband or boyfriend, better behaved children, a better paying job, a bigger house, a more fashionable wardrobe ā there will always be some woman with more of what you don’t have. Consequently, the only person that you need to compete against is yourself. Strive to be the best that you can be – for you. Competing against other women to prove yourself superior is a financial and emotional drainer. Because of this mindless competition we become mean, envious and hypocritical. It is pointless.
6. Disrespecting boundaries
To survive peacefully every relationship and every friendship must have clear boundaries. Good relationships operate within margins of respect. Within this level of respect, privacy and intimacy are keywords. Yes, you are my friend, but that doesn’t give me the right to walk into your bedroom or your kitchen, unbeknownst to you, and help myself to your stuff. I don’t do this not because you won’t allow me to, but because I respect your privacy and your things. Consequently, we both need to know and respect each other’s levels of privacy and intimacy.
7. Crossing boundaries
This is similar to the above, the only difference is that my respect of your boundaries should never depend on my friendship with you. We need to respect women for the simple fact that they are women. If she is a woman she is a sister. Period. Therefore, from that understanding I will have the utmost respect for her children, her man, her opinions, her choices, and for her as a person. It amazes me how women are quick to disrespect another sister’s boundaries, but feel offended if another woman does to them the same exact thing. Honestly, that type of inconsistent behavior can only be credited to some form of mental illness.
8. Exploiting our friendships
This is a major one. Why are you friends? Do you only remember her being around whenever she could get something from you?
I am frightened that physical intimacy might ruin our great friendship.
So I’ll be gone until November. š©
Sincerely,
Dkay
The first of these phases is the week after your period, so you should start it the day after you stop bleeding. Each phase lasts about a week
The follicular phase: sprouted and fermented foods
When: one week after your period
Estrogen is rising during this phase, so the best foods to eat are ones with prebiotics and 3-endole-carbinol, which help your body break down and metabolize the powerful hormone. Some good options are sauerkraut, kimchi, bean sprouts, and broccoli sprouts.
The ovulatory phase: raw juices and fresh, whole veggies
When: two weeks after your period
Your estrogen levels surge even more this week, so it’s key to eat foods that help move it out of your body. Antioxidants and fiber will accomplish this, so load up on fruits and vegetables. To pack a bunch in at once, juice (apple, carrots, cucumber, kale) Still, it’s crucial to also eat plenty of raw, whole sulfur-rich vegetables (broccoli, bok choy, kale, and cauliflower) so your liver gets enough glutathione, a powerhouse molecule with a long list of vitamins.
The luteal phase: greens and grains
When: three weeks after your period
At this point, progesterone levels surge along with estrogen, and then both start to wane, which can lead to mood swings (Bitch mode). That’s where vitamin Bārich foods come in: They help your brain produce the pleasure-inducing hormone serotonin. Grains like quinoa and buckwheat are key, also eat a lot of leafy greens during this time, since they pack calcium and magnesium that help regulate hormones. As a bonus, both grains and greens contain soluble fiber, which provides additional help with getting extra estrogen out of your body.
The menstrual phase: healthy fats and root vegetables
When: the week of your period
Your hormone levels go back down during your period, and foods with fatty acids, like avocado, help keep your mood stable amid this shift. In the meantime, root veggies like sweet potatoes, pumpkin, carrots, and beets provide vitamin A to help your liver process estrogen.
You don’t have to restrict other foods from your diet but by having more of the suggested you WILL feel better. Listen to your body and honor the phase youāre in.
DatGurlDkay 